Craig-219 Expat- High Expectations, Big Life Potential, And Brutal Honesty

Craig note-  Excerpts from my weekly series to my beloved family and great, great, great friends back home. (Enjoy!)

On Meeting High Personal Expectations

It was a busy week. But, I was able to get some positive results for a lot of my effort that I put into my life. I don`t think I am quitting my day job any time soon. But, slowly, I am building something very, very, very special. Some day, my life might actually match my expectations.

That would be a first…

Craig Quote- I have high expectations, and I am determined to raise the bar every day.

On Reaching One`s Full Potential In Life

Basically, I am trying to see just how special my life can become here. While I have an amazing life, I really, really, really want something more (just for me).

I could tell you that I was doing the “secret life project” for my family, but that is, in part, not entirely true. And, I know, it`s pure ego, but I want a life that people look at and go, “D#mn, Craig is AWESOME!”

And, I know many, many, many of you do, in fact, believe “D#mn, Craig is AWESOME!” (And, thank you. As do I…) But, deeeeep down, when I am sleeping, I feel a bit of (life) failure. Not in some, bridge-jumping way, rather it is like, “I bet there is more I could get out of my life.” But, I am unsure.

Maybe, there isn`t at 41. I have considered that possibility.

But, the “secret life project” is going to put to rest any doubt I have about what I can be (should be) in life. Either way, I am okay with the outcome, even if, selfishly, I am hoping for an extraordinary one…

Craig Quote- I have one life, and I want to make the most of it (and out of it).

On Honesty With People Close To You

I am a big, big, big believer in telling people how it is. I don`t sugar-coat for anyone. People often hate that (me), but I don`t care one bit. I am a true friend. And, it would be a disservice to struggling people to be anything other than truthful when they come to me for help.

It is the same in the classroom. Students who pay attention, give effort, and have a positive attitude enjoy my classes very, very, very much. And, the students who don`t meet those expectations, well, I imagine the class is the longest 50 minutes of their lives.

But, high English ability is a gateway for many, many, many Japanese people to get good jobs, see the world, and have the ability to interact with a growing number of foreigners here in Japan.

Even as a coworker, I expect people to work at the company. And, when they don`t, I let them know about it. I ask nothing of anyone. And, I do my work 100% each and every day at a very, very, very high level. Coworkers don`t have to be amazing, but they do have to do the job(s) they are assigned.

Craig Quote– I help people, but I do not carry them when they can walk on their own, especially at work.

Grey, Grizzled, and Gaijin

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“When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.”- Ryan Reynolds

Craig-213 The Eclectic Expat- Life Advice For Lost And Troubled Souls

Craig note- Long before there was Google, there was me…

I read.

I read a lot.

And, then, I read some more.

I have a very, very, very eclectic knowledge base.  And, my memory is excellent. There is no reason for either of those things to be true. But, it has always been that way for me for as long as I can remember. My great, great, great friend reminded me of this in a tweet this morning.

Those sort of talents come in handy when teaching or lecturing on a variety of subjects. I rarely use notes. Generally, I pick a theme, and I go about becoming an “expert” in the topic for any given lecture. This ability was always useful as a student while taking exams back in the day.

But, of course, the tests in real life are more than mere rote memorization. This is especially true here in Japan among expats. Sadly, I have seen very, very, very smart foreigners make the same mistakes over and over again.

Certainly, nobody goes out of their way to intentionally screw up their lives. But, there are a fair number of expats who have made great, great, great effort to make it look like they are $%$%ing up their lives on purpose. As such, many, many, many expats have come to me over the years in search of life advice.

I tend to be an oracle of sorts, expat or otherwise. That was true even in America. It`s been 12 years since I have lived in the States, and I still get weekly e-mails from some great, great, great friends asking me for life guidance. And, I do my very, very, very best to help them.

Sometimes, I simply lend them a friendly ear. Other times, I mock them for being “a moron…” (I`m a blunt dude.) And, still, there are moments when I throw my hands up, and I shake my head in disbelief. To be sure, there are some things I cannot fix. Funny enough, I never, ever, ever ask for life advice.

To be sure, I have thrown out an idea or two to a trusted friend over the years. But, I find that my internal contemplation of any personal problems has been far, far, far more effective in solving issues. But, I have a wealth of life experiences and knowledge to draw upon when considering life changes.

This topic came to me on the train today. I was thinking about Tiger Woods. Perhaps, you have read the news that he was arrested for drunk driving. He has found himself in a myriad of situations over the past few years. Many, many, many of them sadly are self-inflicted.

Still, I wondered aloud to my wife this morning, “How does NOBODY around him stop him from driving while drunk?”

I cannot imagine someone so, so, so famous is ever completely alone. The security risk would likely make that impossible. Yet, there he was on TV with one horrible, horrible, horrible mug shot. The sports` media was ruthless.

I listened to several sports` commentators this morning. The general theme was that this latest incident was “…a cry for help…” And, I wondered if someone like Tiger Woods with all the money and resources in the world cannot find a way to get back on a straight and narrow path, “What hope is there for any of the rest of the lost and troubled souls in this cold, cold, cold world?”

Sadly, I have no advice for that.

Grey, Grizzled, and Gaijin

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“The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it’s having the phone number of somebody who does.”- Hussein Nishah

Craig-208 Expat- Three Mistakes (Almost) Every Foreigner Makes

Craig note- Three mistakes that get almost every expat from time to time.

You drink too much.

Time. Money. And, nobody telling you to “Stop!”

That is a terrible, terrible, terrible combination for young and Grey, Grizzled, And Gaijin expats alike. There is nothing wrong with drinking. In fact, in Japan, it is a very, very, very good way to move up in company`s hierarchy and the Japanese social ladder.

Still, there has to be a limit to the amount and frequency of alcohol that an expat chucks down. I have seen young expats who needed an ambulance here because of excessive drinking. And, I know Grey, Grizzled, And Gaijin expats who get E-2 on their yearly health checks for liver function. (By the way, that`s not good.)

Grey, Grizzled, And Gaijin Advice– It won`t kill you to go home a little early once in a while. And, there are worse things in life than taking a little time out from drinking while living abroad. (Be careful going cold turkey, you can die doing that.)

Trust me, I know.

You spend too much money.

This relates in a way to the first point about too much drinking. The salary, in general, for foreign English teachers in Japan does not go as far as it used to go. Even the JET Program salary is not going to let you live large in some of the bigger cities in Japan…

One is wise to sit down and, at least, in broad strokes, have a budget in place.

I have seen short-term expats go home with little to nothing in savings. And, I know many, many, many Grey, Grizzled, And Gaijin expats with families here who would be screwed if their jobs failed to pay their salaries on time. That does not end well anywhere, especially in Japan.

Grey, Grizzled, And Gaijin Advice– Enjoy your life. Nobody should live abroad and just sit in a dark apartment seven days a week. But, it is important to save money for a return back to your home country. And, even if you stay, it takes real money to build a life here with a wife and family.

Trust me, I know.

You think too much of yourself.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with having self-confidence. But, it gets out of hand with many, many, many expats. There are the “walking resume” new expats. You will know everything about them from their university major to how many countries they have visited within five minutes of saying, “Hello.”

The Grey, Grizzled, And Gaijin expats are not immune to this folly, but, in general they fall into another trap. There are many, many, many long-term expats who lament “Is this all I am?” This is especially true among those older expats who teach English.

I have seen Grey, Grizzled, And Gaijin expats become physically ill from depression. There are more than a few who pulled up stakes and left Japan. This happened sometimes with and more often without their wives and families. And, that was really, really, really sad for everyone involved.

They could not accept the “dancing monkey” routine that keeps the lights on for many, many, many Western expats. Some do escape the confines of ESL teaching, but they, too, often find upward mobility in a Japanese company to be difficult or impossible. That gets old quick, fast, and in a hurry.

Trust me, I know.

Grey, Grizzled, And Gaijin Advice– You can only control so much in life. Sometimes, things and situations are not going to go the way that we would like them to go. It is best to focus on finding positive things in daily life. That makes it easier to search for new and better opportunities.

It is very, very, very difficult to see open doors in life with tears in your eyes. The expats who thrive are the ones who keep pushing ahead with a positive attitude despite the challenges they face.

Trust me, I know.

Final Thoughts

Expat life is not for everyone. It can be a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful experience. Certainly, I would not have stayed abroad this long if it was not something that I enjoyed most of the time. In the end, no matter where you live in this world, your happiness is up to one person:  Y-O-U.

Trust me, I know.

Grey, Grizzled, and Gaijin

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“We don’t develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”- Barbara De Angelis